Most of the time, when you navigate the interwebs, you encounter terrible, truly awful humans. It’s very depressing how poorly people spell and how little thought they put into any sentiment they share or observation they make. Luckily, for the world, people like Jamie Golden exist.
Genuine, wonderful, helpful and monumentally hilarious, Jamie is the torch of hope that should be carried throughout the internet saying, “Wonderful people DO exist on the internet!”
When she isn’t changing the world through her work with children, she’s writing hilarious blog posts full of wit and wisdom or posting beautiful pictures of a variety of things. I tend to fixate on the food pictures, but let’s not make this about me. This is an occasion to celebrate the wonder that is Jamie and her wonderful blog, Jamie’s Rabbits. But don’t take my word for it; read the interview below and when you are down, make sure to follow her on Twitter.
Five Questions About Jamie
1. What originally led you to start blogging / writing?
I started blogging when a friend moved 2,100 miles away. I could share my odd life without having to stay up late waiting for a call from Pacific Standard.
2. Explain “Jamie’s Rabbits” to the uninformed.
I’m an A.D.D. survivor, like Adam Levine from Maroon 5. The diagnosis is most obvious when I’m chatting with folks. I get distracted and off topic and then wonder where I started. This quirk is lovingly known as “chasing rabbits.” My blog tends to be a different “rabbit” every day. Full disclosure: Urban Dictionary defines “chasing rabbits” as the act of getting stoned.
3.You work with a non-profit, your blog is full of giveaways and a lot of your photography could be considered food pornography. Is it a stretch for me to comment that you seem like a person defined by giving/providing to others? If so, is this something you consciously do or is this just your natural personality manifesting itself?
Philosopher Joey Tribbiani once said “It made you feel good, so that makes it selfish. Look, there’s no unselfish good deeds, sorry.” So helping kids get adopted or sharing smutty baked goods is really still about me.
4. If you could crystallize your life mantra into a pithy statement, what would that be? Rabbit Sidebar: I had to look up “pithy.” Merriam-Webster.com defines it as “consisting or abounding in pith.” So I clicked on “see ‘pithy’ for English language learners.” Now I know you want something brief, clever, and effective. So my life mantra is “Keep Life Pithy.”
5. Give us some blogs you personally recommend reading.
I’m a bit of a blog bimbo – I get around. But what keeps me in a committed relationship is the funny. And pith.
Mary Poppins. Feisty intelligent heroine. Sexy chimney sweep. Women’s suffrage. Penguins. What’s not to love?
4. Favorite fictional character?
Emma Woodhouse from Emma by Jane Austen. High-spirited, slightly spoiled and occasional lack of discipline, but loves people. Could be a line out of my resume.
5. Favorite Meal?
Grilled cheese on sourdough bread with jalapeno havarti, applewood smoked bacon, and thinly sliced green apple. And my Mom’s sweet tea.
Five Hypothetical Questions
1. In 5 years, time travel will not only be possible, but it will be commercialized. As such, you are invited to participate in the Laser Tag Championship of All-Time, which is no doubt sponsored by ESPN and Geico. Spanning recorded history, name the 3 people you would select for your team and why.
If my motivation is winning, which it often is, then I’d pick the following:
1.Roman Polanski – Won’t be caught.
2.Matt – It can be Damon, Perry, Fox, or McConaughy. He can distract our opponents when we play or distract me when we lose.
3. Christy Mixon – She’s my friend and fitness trainer who can dead lift a grown man out of whitewater. She hates to lose.
2. Let’s assume that in a parallel universe, super heroes do exist.
Let’s further assume that, of late, there have been some scandals attached to some fringe superheroes, so the United Nations has mandated that a strict policy of admittance be formulated to discern who is and who is not a super hero so that the race of superheroes can be properly held accountable for their actions.
You, Jamie, in an existence defined by plucky determination, guile and a thirst for justice have risen to prominence as an accomplished defense attorney of superheroes who specializes in establishing superhero credibility.
Through an ongoing litigious melodrama, the membership of two superheroes has been questioned and you are tasked with defending one of the superheroes over the validity of his membership over another one. Your client is Batman and you must make the case for his membership over Captain Planet. What are the most salient points of your defense and how do you compel the panel to allow Batman entrance over Captain Planet?
Batman would sue for ineffective counsel since I nurse an affection for puns and recycling. Plus, does Batman even have actual superpowers? I can’t possibly lawyer under these conditions.
3. Let’s assume that you are walking down an alley. You are confronted by a woman who, at closer inspection, is your doppelganger. Through a glitch in the universe, she is identically you in terms of knowledge of your life and what has made you who you are, but she differs in certain respects.
As you observe her, you notice that she seems slightly better looking, like an idealized version of you. Her clothing and other affectations are nicer than yours indicating that she is more financially accomplished. Her phone rings and the ring is a ringtone that indicates to you that she is more cultured, nuanced, and educated than you will ever be. Yeah. It’s quite a ringtone.
After observing these things, your doppelganger attacks you and it is clear that she means to kill you.
Do you allow her to win understanding that her continued existence will exponentially improve the perception about you and the affect that “you” have on the people around you? Or do you choose to win knowing that you will never offer the world or loved ones what your doppelganger could? Why?
Everyone knows doppelganger means evil twin. Like Bob Saget is Stephen Colbert’s doppelganger. Me being mediocre and good is obviously preferred over “Jamie” being nuanced and sketchy. Therefore, I must win. And winning tends to trump not winning.
4. A song featured in the movie Juno by The Moldy Peaches contains the following lyric: “I want more fans / you want more stage.”
If you were a musician, which would you prefer? More fans, which speaks to your popularity or more stage, which speaks to your superior skill level as a musician?
Do I want to be the Justin Bieber of the accordion or the Mat Kearney of the accordion? Yes, the accordion. I’m all about the long haul, so I’ll go with stage. I’d rather be a one-Jamie-band 20 years from now, then have piñatas with my face on back order at Oriental Trading right now.
5. Let’s assume that civilization has crumbled after an unspecified natural disaster. In the course of these events, you suffer a tragic and unfortunate accident where your left arm is sliced off.
Given the tumult surrounding the crumbling of society, your doctors give you two options: you can lose your arm completely or it can be saved, but with a catch.
Given the wealth of options from abandoned fast food restaurants and given the limited access to typical health facilities, the doctors and scientists left in your nomadic tribe can reconstruct your arm but it will appear as a sort of fully functioning chicken tender. It will function as a normal arm would, and you would have fingers and an opposable thumb, but it would appear exactly like a chicken tender.
Would you rather have no arm or a giant chicken tender arm?
Giant chicken tender. I have limited upper body strength so I need all the arms I can get. Even if it meant my fingers would literally be finger lickin’ good.
Follow up: if yes, would you ever sample yourself?
After baking, I’ve licked leftover frosting off my wrist discovered hours later. So you tell me.
Five Final Random Questions
1. Which Wizard of Oz character are you most like?
I’d like to say Dorothy with her gumption and compassion for the underdog. However, my hankering for all black and coveting others’ shoes tells me I’m more Wicked Witch of the West.
2. What’s something the average human would be surprised to learn about you?