I couldn’t help but laugh at Sam’s feeble attempt to justify the over-Christmas-ization of America. Sure, he was passionate in his attempt, but we must not confuse passion with truth. The pages of history are filled with passionate voices who have led the charge in the wrong direction. (Have you ever seen footage of Hitler giving a speech? So much passion, so little veracity.)
Ladies and gentlemen, what you will find in the following post is a reprint of Sam’s argument, peppered with my commentary (in red). I have not changed any of his words.
The very things people applaud it (Thanksgiving) for are the things I’m planning on doing this week:
- Eating lots of food. Newsflash: grocery stores sell turkey and potatoes year round.”
Oh, really? So, this week you’re going to eat your weight in turkey, dressing, yams, cranberry sauce, and pie while surrounded by family? That’s a regular occurrence for you, Sam? I call your bluff, sir.
“- Watching football. It’s called Saturday/Sunday/Monday night/Thursday night each week from September to January.”
Are you even a football fan? Have you seen the schedule of games this Thanksgiving? Green Bay (defending Super Bowl champs) at Detroit (who are surprisingly better than expected) AND this is a divisional game. Miami (they’re a trash pile, I’ll give you that) at Dallas (America’s team, have played on Thanksgiving day 45 times. When something great happens for forty years in a row, it’s a wonderful tradition.) San Francisco (have won seven in a row, are 8-1, and lead the NFC west) at Baltimore (one of the most physical teams in the league.) West coast vs East coast. This isn’t a typical day of football, my friend.
“Do you know why Christmas is so awesome? Christmas is a season. Thanksgiving is a day.”
You know what else has a season? The flu. Allergies. Taxes. Just because it lasts longer doesn’t make it better.
“At no other the time of the year do you:
- Move a bunch of crap around in your attic, cursing your poor organization skills as you do, just to get out some broken light strands and musty stockings.”
Climbing in the attic? Moving boxes? Cursing? Broken lights? Musty stockings? I thought you were in favor of this stuff. That sounds terrible.
“- Use a staple gun to hang lights on your gutter in a perfectly crooked line.”
Every human alive hates hanging Christmas lights on the house. I would rather have a root canal performed by a cross-eyed man wearing oven mitts than hang lights.
“- Buy people you don’t like crap they don’t need.”
Spend money? On crap? For people you don’t like? Again, this sounds terrible. Which side are you on?
“Christmas is like Thanksgiving on HGH.”
HGH has ruined countless lives and careers.
“If Christmas is Josh Groban, Thanksgiving is Billy Gillman.”
Josh Groban is overrated, Billy Graham has preached the gospel of Jesus to millions of people for decades. He may get to be the mayor of Heaven.
“Christmas lovers, unite! Join me in putting up your tree before Thanksgiving, changing your presets to that one station that will blare “Feliz Navidad” and “Santa Baby” enough to make you puke…”
Another weak argument- listening to different people sing the same fifteen songs for over a month is wearisome.
“At least Christmas gives us errands to run later as we return stuff we don’t like and spend gift cards we don’t need.”
More things to do? So, we’ve got to spend weeks getting ready before the 25th, then we’ve got a week’s worth of chores to tend to after? Christmas, you are exhausting.
Friends, I don’t deny the splendor and joy of the Christmas season. I only ask that we give Thanksgiving it’s due respect. It is a time to reflect on the blessings of family, God’s provision, freedom, etc. It is a day set aside to give thanks. Why would you be so eager to rush through that?
King Solomon, in his Song of Songs, warned young lovers not to awaken love before the appropriate time. I would give the same warning about Christmas. When you stir love, or holidays, too soon, and too eagerly, they become cheapened. Don’t rob Thanksgiving of its deserved time and respect, and don’t rob Christmas of its wonder by making it a 365 day holiday.