Thursday, June 30, 2011

Residents of Awesometown #13: Cathy LaGrow

My first interaction was with Cathy was so impactful that she immediately forgot about me and weeks later told me that she'd rediscovered my blog again. For the second time. It was like I'd put her into an amnesiac lapse of boredom before I was able to jar her from it by ripping on The Bachelorette. See that show is good for something, right?

If you haven't discovered Cathy yet, or if you are rediscovering her, click her to read all about her. She's smart, funny, and doesn't mind intertwining science with what she believes. She's like the glorious love child of Mr. Wizard and Billy Graham. Yeah. Take that one in for a minute.

If you want to connect on twitter, follow Cathy here. 

Cathy...Welcome to Awesometown.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

The Bachelorette Recap: So This is Our Period?

Ok you guys. Gird your loins. There be copious amounts of Bentley ahead. It's going to be thick with Bentley saturation and its going to get in your hair, in your mouth and all over the walls and ceiling. 

Then, just when you think there couldn't be any more concentration of Bentley, he's going to shove his troll head through the door and say HEEEERRREEEES, BENTLEY! So you need to be mentally prepared for that. If you aren't, you should probably find alternate means of entertainment. If you are? Slap on your hazmat suit and let's brave the Bentleyness together. FOR LOVE!

Thursday, June 23, 2011

GUEST POST: The 4 Types of Church Powerpoint Typos

I'd like to introduce you to Ben Emerson, an internetual friend I've made recently. Whenever I see his name, I think of Michael Emerson the guy who played Ben Linus on LOST. And then I get flustered and worry that he may be scheming something up with the Others or mind-freaking me. He's not. I don't think.

But beyond all that, he's a very talented writer with a very funny perspective and I urge you to head over to his blog and give him a gander. Also, connect with him on twitter here.

Release the hounds, Ben...

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

The Moral Turpitude of Watching The Bachelorette

I'm doing a seminar on The Bachelorette today on my friend Rob's blog and you should totally go over and check it out. Pork rinds, Kermit and Ms. Piggy, and Grey Poupon are all involved and if that isn't reason enough to read it then I guess you just don't have a soul. So good luck with that.

If you do have a soul though, click here to check out Rob's blog. Take a look around and be sure to follow him on twitter here. It's so cool having a soul isn't it? Good times.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

The Bachelorette Recap: Fight Club for Love

It's official. Bentley is worse than AIDS. He's always on everyone's minds and he refuses to go away.  We just need to deal with this. We must accept that he will be re-entering our live. Ok? Ok.

Are you ready for this? Are you ready for his indifferent and aloof return? The show has been teasing it on a loop forever so it better be tonight.

Are you ready to see somebody (methinks Ben C.) get dump-trucked in Muay Thai while wearing pink trunks? I am. I so am. I infinity so am.

Also, I need a favor. Could you PLEASE do me a solid and after reading this, click over to It's a new Tripp Crosby and Tyler Stanton project that is devoted to the art of runner reluctantly and it is inspiring, hilarious, and profound. It's like the essences of Clive Owen, Dave Chappelle, and Wilford Brimley all rolled into one website. I don't know if there is higher praise to be given out.

Lastly, a big slow clap to everyone who contributed an observation about Ryan last week. All the comments were pretty hysterical. I thought I would include them parenthetically in this recap whenever I talk about Ryan / Mr. Sunshine (I bet when Ryan sits on an airplane, he grabs the Sky Mall catalogue and flips directly to the "Inspirations" posters. - Reid Greven).

Previously on the Bachelorette: EVERYTHING. Seriously. They just showed the previous 5 episodes and capped it off by taking a big, nasty, cantankerous Bentley afterwards. (If you haven't been following these recaps, "Taking a Bentley" is code for anyone talking about Bentley. Because it sounds like taking a crap. Do you get it? Because crap and Bentley are synonymous? I've ruined it now haven't I?)

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Re-Post: The 4 Kinds of People You Meet in a Public Restroom

This post is from a guest thing I did for Tyler Stanton. Click here to see the original and all the demented comments that came with it. They deserved a post of their very own.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

The Bachelorette Recap: Bentley, Bentley, Thailand and Bentley

Ok, so this episode was like the bread you get at O'Charleys before your meal. Functional, but mostly empty. And that's fine. This was mostly a bridge between last week's drama-filled episode and next week's fireworks. Judging from the scenes from next week, somebody in pink shorts gets knocked the freak out (has to be Ben C.) and Bentley most definitely comes back. I know. I'm hoping with the hope of 1000 Care Bears that it's Brad but I'm pretty sure it's Bentley. I will now find a wood chipper to stick my face into.

I mean we JUST recovered from last week. I JUST got out of bed. I've been listening to Nina Simone songs and drinking Sleepy Time tea. It's been a dark few days here because I just don't know how to feel. There's so much internal strife. 

On the one hand, it's good because I don't have to see that dumb mask and Jeff pretend to wear it while bowel movementing at the end of every episode. So that's good. And I don't have to see Bentley leer and glower at the camera like a Disney villain. But now, we're left with a wasteland of personalities. It's a real conversational abyss out there, people. What's the conversation goon to be like with someone like Lucas? Him telling us the best way to sun dry deer jerky? Can't wait.

Let's face it: Bentley made the show entertaining much in the same way that Voldemort did in the Harry Potter universe. There's not much of a story to tell without either. 

At any rate, grab your favorite duffel bag and let's jam all the magic, purfaction and uhmeezing moments in it that we can. FOR LOVE!

Friday, June 10, 2011

TOP SHELF: Movie Texter Leaves an Ill-Advised Voicemail

Greatest. Ad. Ever.

One day, I want to make a pilgrimage to this place where the art of movie going is respected. This is clearly the greatest theater in the MAGNITED States of America.

My incredible wife is letting me see Super 8 tonight because she's fantastic like that. Will I be indulging in popcorn? TRUE. Will I be drawing my inspiration from this Tripp and Tyler video on Everyday Courage? DOUBLE TRUE.

Also, the winner of the Chad Gibbs' giveaway is.....Ben Emerson. Enjoy your Desert Storm trading cards, young man.

What's the last movie you've seen and was it good? 

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Residents of Awesometown #12: Chad Gibbs

Chad Gibbs enters Awesometown and instantly becomes our equivalent of Will Smith. He's dashing, intelligent, loves Old Navy, is famous for his writing exploits (God and Football) and he's tangled a time or two with Alfonso Ribeiro. The comparison works better the less you think about it.

What follows is one of my favorite interviews in the history of Awesometown. It's a clinic of sorts and Chad provides fantastic answer after fantastic answer like a benevolent doctor deals out hope, cures and lollipops.

Additionally, today's interview includes (begin Oprah crescendo voice) A GIVE AWAY!!! Answer Chad's question at the end for a free copy of his book, God and Football and a pack of Desert Storm trading cards filled with some antediluvian gum. 

Make sure to visit Chad's blog here and you can find him on twitter @chad_gibbs. Lastly, if you haven't read God and Football yet, check it out here via Barnes and Noble.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

The Bachelorette Recap: You Don't Come Soft to a Roast, Bro.

You guys. Before we get started and I hit play on our generation's version of Casablanca, I have to say something. I have a bad feeling about tonight. It's a premonition of sorts. I feel like bad things await Dr. Ashley. I can't put a finger on why I feel that way. I just do.

It certainly isn't the one billion promos we've seen in previous episodes of the good doctor sobbing deliriously in her bed while in the fetal position. Don't be alarmed by that. If we've learned anything through the years, it's that this show is all about the unspoken. The subtext. The nuanced connections between people. If Faulkner was alive today, he'd be in the business of reality TV and The Bachelorette would most certainly be something he was involved with. If I was being sarcastic here, I would make The Sound and the Fury reference. BUT I'M TOTALLY NOT!

This episode has been built up for the last 3 episodes. It's been called the 3rd most important event in human history (with the other two being The Crucifixion and the advent of Japanese Steakhouses).

So to say that this episode has some hype to live up to is putting it mildly.

Friday, June 3, 2011

Faithful Friday - Stupid Stuff Christians Do

Is there something you've done that whenever you visit it in the museum of your mind, it makes you want to vomit? Are there multiple things? Whatever your number is, quintuple it and that's my number. I'm a purveyor of cringeworthy moments and inadvertently offending people is actually my love language.

The natural inclination is to reflect back on the most infamous of these moments. Of them all, which one makes me cringe the hardest?

Was it the time I verbally beatdown my youth minister in front of the entire youth group while mistakenly assuming it to be funny? (It wasn't funny) Nope.

Was it that time I drove to a person's house to yell at them about something they'd supposedly said? Nope.

Was it the time I open hand slapped a dude because of something he said about my lady friend? Again, nope.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

GUEST POST: Who is the Frank Sinatra of Our Generation?

One day, like a damsel in distress, Ricky Anderson asked for a writing topic while on twitter. I  responded with a question I've long contemplated and the resulting post sprang forth from deep within Ricky's loins. 

Read it and then click on over to Ricky's blog to check out what makes him tick. It will be like one of VH1's Behind the Music documentaries, except on a blog. And with no narration. And I'm pretty sure there will be no music. Or rampant drug use. I'm already reconsidering this analogy.

Click here for Ricky's blog and here to tweet with him like twitter lovers do.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Residents of Awesometown #11: Sharideth Smith

Sharideth Smith and I belong to the same hillbilly tribe of people known as Tennesseans so we're basically best friends. Also, we share the curse of never being able to find our names on coffee mugs or key chains in gift shops. It's a cross we both delightfully bear. 

Whenever I type her name, I check my spelling at least 53 times and I'm pretty sure that if Janis Joplin had Sharideth's name, she would not have died young and would now be the fourth judge on American Idol and matching Steven Tyler nonsensical comment for nonsensical comment. But no matter! The 70s loss is our gain. 

Have I ever met Sharideth? No. But I don't need to. Spend a micro-milisecond on her blog and she will clearly present herself as one of the funniest lady bloggers around town ('town', in this sense, meaning 'internet'). And what's more? She's charitable. Her blog is about helping men understand women. It's like the coolest and most helpful CliffsNotes a guy could ever read. 

Click here to check out her blog and follow her on twitter @sharideth

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