The following is a guest post from Kevin Haggerty, one of my favorite new bloggers who just so happens to hate Tom Brady and love Kobe Bryant. I KNOW I KNOW. But’s he actually a good guy. No seriously, he is.
To see for yourself, click over to his blog The Isle of Man. You never know if a post is going to be serious and deep and all philosophical OR light and funny OR sometimes he even does interviews, which allow me to say, are some of the best interviews around. Really, really good stuff.
Also, if you want to connect on twitter, find him @kevinrhaggerty.
Remember “Back to the Future 2?” If you’re like me (and you’re lucky if you are), you came away from the film not just hoping for a hoverboard, you fully expected the device to be invented, packaged and sold in local toy stores that very Christmas.
Fast forward 23 years later and still…no hoverboards. But that’s not the only way “modern science” has failed us.
Here’s a list of ways that science and scientists have dropped the ball and what they can do to step their game up (respectively):
For realzies? We still have to eat veggies and back off the sweets? It’s 2012, people! Why can’t scientists invent a pill that will allow me to daily eat Chick-Fil-A for breakfast and lunch, Domino’s Pizza for dinner, exercise at “Never O’Clock” and still have fantastic health and washboard abs? We beat Polio and “The Black Plague?” We put a man on the moon (allegedly)! Figure it out, scientists.
I’m sick of watching sweet movies like “The X-men” and “The Avengers” movies (Iron Man, Hulk, Thor, Captain America) and not being able to do what they do. It’s ridiculous. I want to fly. I want to melt ice cubes with laser beams from my eyeballs. I want to have x-ray vision, but I will only use that power for good (scout’s honor). The possibilities are limitless. I’m not asking much. I just want to be able to crush semi-trucks with my mind. Come on!
I’m 32 years old and my hair line is starting recede…quickly. It won’t be long before my haircuts will start consisting of a razor and a broom. It’s not fair. I have nice hair. My wife likes to run her hands through it. Sure, there are supposed solutions, but all of them suck. I don’t want to rub some weird-smelling cream on my head twice a day for the rest of my life, just for the possibility that my current hair won’t fall out and that a few new, additional hairs may come in. If we had superpowers, I’m pretty sure this would be an easy fix. (See how it’s all starting to tie together?) Make it happen, Cap’n!
I hate waiting for any reason. I hate waiting in line at the DMV or the grocery store. I hate sitting in traffic. I hate waiting for the mail when I know a check is coming. Can’t we start making all this stuff happen with our minds? Plug me into “The Matrix,” player. I’m good to go. If it keeps me out of traffic jams and Walmart…sign me up!
Those are the items my feeble mind could come up with. What are some other ways Modern Science has failed us?? (Keep it light. Nobody likes a party-pooper.)