Friday, February 24, 2012

10 Questions with Tyler Tarver

Guys. I have the duh-stinct pleasure of sharing a conversation I had with our generation's Martin Scorsese (minus the eyebrows).

His name is Tyler Tarver and beyond being a blogger who is routinely trades in hilarity, beyond being a teacher of mathematica and beyond being on the cusp of releasing a book with maybe the greatest cover I've ever seen, Tyler Tarver is ALSO an entrepreneur and this entrepreneuring involves film and video.

Today, we discuss Tyler Tarver Studios.

1. Tyler, you have recently embarked upon a remarkable venture combining elegance, class and ingenuity. It's like a Lexus commercial but infinitely more impressive, beautiful and important. Would you like to tell us a little about Tyler Tarver Studios?

Yeash, I'd love to. It's nothing like a Lexus commercial, because I'm actually selling Lexus cars, not their commercials. By Lexus cars, I mean I'm selling my services as a Video person and Photo person, to video and freeze frame people, preferably next to Lexus cars and/or a TV airing a commercial [Honda preferably].

2. Your logo is a combination of Ts which presumably is because of your alliterative name. You are a math teacher, but I bet you didn't know that the logo looks like pi which is a mathematical concept. 

I totally just broke that news to you right now and nothing you can say will make us think otherwise, right?

Dearest Knox, I see the connection you are trying to make yet I feel you are a bit misguided, I am actually a high school math teacher, not Family and Consumer Science. That's the class people make crappy pajamas and foods, such as these mystical pies you speak of through text. 

3. Which Tyler Tarver Studios project are you most proud of thus far?

Ugh, gross question Knox.

Um, if you consider all of the videos I've ever done at part of it (which they're not cause I only put up not trying to be funny videos), my favorite it Laser Babies, because my kid likes it.

My favorite wedding thing I've done is the one I'm working on now, because you can't link to it and people can't go there and think it sucks while assuming since it's my favorite the rest suck even worse. Preconceived notions, Knox, preconceived notions.

4. Let's say that a mustachioed crazy person becomes President. This mustachioed crazy person has crazy, mustachioed disdain for Harry Potter and crazily legislates a Harry Potter tax which basically says this: You are only allowed to talk about Harry Potter if you agree to have a triumphantly large black mustache tattooed onto your lip. 

If you do that, you can reference Harry Potter as you please. If not, you can't talk about Harry Potter and if you are caught uttering his name, you will be sent to a jail name Nazbakan for life. What do you do?

H yes. Call me Tom Selleck. 

5. Let's say I'm a friendly interwebz person who lives hundreds of miles away from you, but I fervently want to use Tyler Tarver Studios. What do you recommend I do?

Call me up, pay my gas/flight, and dance with me in this world called Videos. 

6. If I reveal that I hate Steve Urkel, does that make me racist, nerdist, neither, both or a terrorist?

Yoda once said, "Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to America". So it actually makes you more American to hate someone. Seriously, look at the Republicans. 

7. How do I make sure I never miss any Tyler Tarver Studio developments?

Good Question!

8. I hate going to the doctor for physicals because of the "Cough twice" thing. Can Tyler Tarver Studios help with that?

Yes, just take 2 of these and call me in the morning. Oh, and to answer your last question, I guess my Facebook page is the best place.

9. What's the most popular package you offer?

The Photobooth and Photography stuff has been getting the most play as of late. That and I got a gold UPS package, people love it cause it was signed by Ben Affleck of the movie Gigli.

10. Talk about why you are so qualified and don't be lame. Actually brag on yourself or I will steal a horse, ride it into Arkansas and tattoo a black mustache onto your face.

I've been making videos for about 4 years, and I got into weddings about a year ago. I know I'm new to this part of the game, that's why my prices are a lot lower, mainly because there's a standard I have set for myself and I don't feel I've reached it yet. Qualified is a strong word, I'd say...Acceptable. I guess you either like the look I got, or there's probably someone else for you.

Not You in particular, Knox, you've got the look, he's got the look, what in the world can make a brown-eyed girl turn blue....and I go la la la la.
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