Eight years ago, I made a really smart decision and married the coolest, hottest, most funny girl I’d ever met. Eight years later, we have two beautiful kids, a dog that thinks he’s of royal blood and a better relationship than ever.
Did that last one sound cliche? I know, right? It totally did. Most of the time, people are like “THIS point in time is the best ever” as though things continue to escalate into perfection until God takes us up to Heaven because the world couldn’t handle such perfection and love and awesomeness anymore.
But obviously that isn’t the case. My love for my wife is built on all those good things we established when we first started dating as juniors in high school. But it’s also been forged upon tough times. Through medical crisis…through pain…through hurt and through the LOST finale. There’s this idea that conflict in a marriage is like a roach in a salad; you either ignore it and eat around it (narsty) or just throw the salad out.
But that isn’t right.
Conflict in marriage is real and inevitable and dealing with it means coming to grips with your pride and coming to grips with your selfishness and how to bridging that divide and how it relates to the person you love most in the world.
When I think about the last eight years with my wife, I love thinking about all the happy times and laughing about how I seriously almost proposed to her on September 11, 2003. But I also like thinking about all the hard times we endured too: fighting pregnancy complications, dealing with meningitis and being apart for a year during college.
Those were all really, really hard seasons for us, but I like to look back on them and be all smug about how the things that could have torn us apart actually bound us together more closely. Except for the LOST finale. That one almost took the whole ship down. IT WAS A GREAT FINALE, OK?
Happy Eighth, Ashley. I still don’t deserve you.