We start off and its the aftermath of Herschel’s leg getting cut off and the Cell Block Crew (CBC for short now) is just kind of watching and one guy points a gun or something but Team Rick is like “Great talk, see you guys out there.” Team Rick does their thing and wheels Herschel back to home base in a hall vacant of zoms now after there were seriously 2.5 trillion of them only 15 seconds earlier.

Also, TBoneDawg takes the blockade off the door like there are a billion zoms outside it and he’s just going to deal with all of them in some bloody showdown.  When he opens the door though, it’s just one. One. It sounded like the population of zombie Beijing was trying to break in while Rick was mutilating Herschel. But it was just one dude. One super, duper pissed zom I guess?

CUE INTRO

My favorite part about the standoff between Team Rick and CBC is that the CBC guys legit have no idea what is happening. I’m torn on how I feel about this. On the one hand, they have been stuck for 10 months in a cafeteria.

On the other, they DID see these former humans who look like walking corpses, so I’m guessing that they would have put two and two together and and assumed that everyone being gone from the prison and the walking corpses MIGHT be related. Also, in 10 months, they never got sick of it and were like, “SCREW IT. Let’s get out of here?” These guys are the least motivated prisoners in the history of human incarceration.

But I love that they live in a world where the zombie prisoners have tried to eat them for the last 10 months and they still want to use cellphones or get online to check their Farmville.

So Team Rick and the CBC are out in the prison yard and splitting up territory and everything and there’s just this tension between Rick and the guy who looks like Inigo Montoya Jr. It’s almost like they used to be friends on Facebook or something, but Rick unfriended him and Inigo Montoya Jr. remembers that but Rick doesn’t.

Back from commercial and oh yeah did I mention that Carol is a doctor now? Maybe there was something about this that I didn’t remember but she’s like Dr. Carol Medicine Woman and she’s deal with Herschel’s stump. Not sure what she’s actually doing beyond leg stump maintenance, but it’s conveniently told to us that Herschel had been mentoring her. He was all like, ” Now listen, in the event of someone’s limb being hacked off and there just being a stump, here’s what you do.”

There’s some banter about the big guy’s nickname , Big Tiny, (worst prison nickname of the century BTW) and they proceed to split up the pantry and Rick inadvertantly goes into the room where everyone had been using the bathroom for 10 entire months and the whole crew has a big LOL.

Maggie is super sad about her dad and she’s all like, “GUH-LEAYUN, I’ll be so durn sad if my diddy dies,” and we feel bad because she’s crying.

Glenn hangs around Herschel in case Herschel turns and Glenn has to shoot him. Maggie goes to hang out with Suicide Girl and be Debbie Downer about their dad probably dying. Also, her sister is a seamstress now, did you know? Everyone picked up an artisanal craft over the winter evidently.

Lori nags Rick about the prisoners and then calls herself  ”a shi**y wife,” and tells Rick that he should either kill CBC or not. I know she’s trying to be supportive, but she still comes off as passive aggressive.

CBC and Team Rick gear up to go zombie barnstorming in an effort to clear out a new cellblock for CBC so they can stay out of the way.

Maggie asks for a moment with Herschel and tells him “DIDDY, YOU DON’T GOT TO FIGHT NONE NO MORE.”

Also, how white are Maggie’s teeth? Those things are like a city on a hill. Someone has not been neglecting her post-apocalyptic dental hygiene amirite?

Back from commercial and the Team Rick / CBC super group is zombie hunting and it looks like the CBC has some issues to work out as they happen upon a zom and the guy who looks like the Wyatt Earp knifes a guy like 18,000 times in the stomach.

Back at the headquarters, Carl went on a solo run and brought back medical supplies which is super awesome in general AND super awesome for Herschel but Lori kind of freaks out.

Carl tells Lori to get off his back and all the women are like, “NO YOU DIDN’T,” and Carl is like forget all you losers. I have a new haircut and I’m awesome now.” And you know what? I think he is. His stupid face has become his stupid hair, but I can deal with it.

Back at the Super Group, Big Tiny immediately cuts himself off from the group and cowers down and gets thrashed or something by a zom? I’m not totally clear, but Inigo Montoya Jr. comes in and blows the zoms head off and stares at Ricktator.

YOU GUYS YOU GUYS YOU GUYS LOTS OF SEXUAL TENSION with Rick and Inigo Montoyo Jr. It felt like he was going to keep staring at Rick and lick his lips all seductive like or something. Someone turn on the Lionel Richie, right?

Carol needs to talk to Glenn about something SUPER urgent and Glenn is like, “What if Herschel turns?” and Maggie is like, “GUH-LE-YUN, WE GOT IT.”

Back at the SuperGroup, Big Tiny is like, I know I got scratched but I’m good and everyone is like, “Uhhhhh…” except for Inigo Montoyo Jr. who brains Big Tiny with a tire iron and he does it like 48 times just to makes sure and Rick and Darryl are like, “Ummmmmm psycho much, new guy?” I’m totally sure this psychotic behavior will not be an issue going forward.

Back from commercial and Carol wants to practice cutting on people in case Herschel doesn’t make it so her and Glenn poach a female looking Zom. That’s basically it.

Back at the super group, the team stumbles onto fresh linens in the laundry room and everyone is super excited because I mean fresh linens, right?  But then they remember that they have to clear out the cell block so Rick makes Inigo Montoya Jr. open the door and Inigo Montoya Jr. is thrilled about this so he almost cuts Rick’s head off AND he throws a zom onto Rick. BAD FORM INIGO.

So Rick is like, “Stuff happens, it’s not you, it’s me etc KNIFE INTO HEAD.” So Inigo Montoyo is dead and his sidekick is pissed and then runs off and Rick inexplicably chases him  as though he might tell the authorities on Rick or something? I don’t know. They were super careful about creeping through the prison but then Rick gallivants through it like NBD. It works though because Rick locks the guy out in the courtyard and the zoms are like, “SNACK.”

Back at headquarters, Lori tries to give Herschel mouth-to-mouth and then it seems like Herschel is trying to bite her, but he was probably waken from his coma by the taste of something awful on his mouth and then he was all “JK JK JK NOT A ZOM, DON’T SHOOT OK?”

Team Rick gives the two remaining members of CBC their own cell block and then Herschel wakes up.

Carol doesn’t know any of this and hacks away at the dead zom while someone creepily watches from the woods. That probably won’t be discussed next week.

Lori and Rick talk and Lori acknowledges that she’s the worst and that shedoesn’t have any idea where Carl is at any given time or what he does which is nice that she finally discloses the thing that everyone else in America already knew.

Lori’s Worstness Rating

3.5

Best Visual Representation of Carl’s Stupid Face to Sum Up The Episode