SNOW CAPPED MOUNTAINS! SLEDDING! STATEMENTS OF DISBELIEF! UGLY SHIRTS! ROMANTIC CLICHES! FIREWORKS! FAIRYTALE REFERENCE! DES WITH HER HAIR UP! OMINOUS MUSIC! JAMES ON THE HOTSEAT! HASHTAG IN CONFRONTATION! BROOKS DOING MATH! MICHAEL G.S WEIRD THING FOR BEN! DES SOBBING!
Basically, this episode is like Batman’s origin story or something. It’s the saddest thing ever because, at least from the indications of the montage, Des is in perpetual sob mode the entire episode.
Can we just real talk for a second? This season has been pretty terrible. Des is kind of uniformly terrible and empty in terms of a personality. And the guys are lacking. Just super not compelling and for a show like this, the people have to be compelling.
The episode starts with yodeling, naturally, and the guys on a train and all dressed in hoodies and Zak W in a peacoat. It’s just a strange mixture of jackets and hoodies and coats, which makes me wonder, do you think the producers dress these guys? I think, to an extent, they do. They have to, right? Otherwise, Mikey T would be wearing Affliction shirts at every Rose Ceremony.
There’s talk of architecture in and around Europe and it has the overall affect of hearing a toddler speculate about God.
In reference to the architecture:
(Mikey T, I think) “DATS UH COOL BILLDEN.”
Harrison shows up and explains the misconception that most people have about how Germany was originally Prussia and the real story behind that socio-political… Hahaha JK JK. He didn’t. Totally kidding. Instead he talked about date cards and one on one dates and two on one dates because Mikey T’s brain would have dropped out of his butt or something if Harrison has gone the former route.
The guys see their place and act enthused. I kind of wish there was a mashup of the guys walking in to every single place that they stay and reacting to it because it’s virtually the same 45 second sequence every time.
Ben: “This is probably one of the nicer hotels in Germany.”
I love the authority with which he makes that statement.
“This might be probably a four-star hotel in the European sense. MAYBE.”
The date card comes out and it’s Chris. Does someone say that this is his second one-on-one? Is that true? That’s kind of insane if it is true. If ONLY there was a way for me to go back and look it up.
She wrote the card in German and Chris takes great pleasure in speaking the language.
Two cliches I hate on this show:
“Today is the perfect way to (insert statement).”
“I couldn’t think of a better way to (insert statement).”
Drives me insane. An enterprising company should sponsor both statements and they would get SO much air-time because it basically happens over 28 trillion times each episode.
GUYS. GUYS DID YOU KNOW MILEY IS GOING TO BE ON GMA WEDNESDAY MORNING? (insert super long and drawn out fart noise).