“Seriously? The Bachelor/ette and Jesus? That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.”
Maybe you are thinking it, maybe you aren’t. Regardless, it’s something I thought of quite a bit while writing the book. But they are related. I *swear* they are.
Here’s the thing. There’s this idea that God is God and He exists solely in the Inspirational / Religion section of the bookstore that is our lives. We consult Him on Sundays, before meals, and when bad things happen and everything else is outside of his jurisdiction. But that isn’t really the case. God exists everywhere. Does that sound like a terrible contemporary Christian lyric? OH INDEED. But it doesn’t make it any less true. His influence is manifested throughout the world and not just in Sunday School. In other things. Less conventionally God things.
So that’s what this book is about. Finding God in one of the most vapid shows on television. Maybe it’s dumb, maybe it isn’t. But at the very least, I make fun of The Bachelor/ette a lot in it. So even if this book makes the Left Behind series read like Faulkner, at least we can have fun with the ridicule, right?
Do I need to have a working knowledge of The Bachelor/ette to read this book?
Absolutely not. In fact, it’s better that you don’t because chances are, if you haven’t watched the show, then you have more brain cells available with which to comprehend the book. And if you have watched the show and didn’t understand the implication I just made, it’s that The Bachelor/ette is a murderer of brain cells. It’s like the Genghis Khan of murdering brain cells.
What’s with the slash thing in The Bachelorette? Is that something you do in the book?
It works to lump The Bachelor and The Bachelorette together so I don’t have to write out both every time.
Is it long? I hate long books, you know.
It isn’t long at all. It’s 11 essays about the show and it’s 50 pages total.
Is it just all of your recaps put into book form?
No. This is 100% new stuff.
Good, because I didn’t read your recaps the first time. Why would I pay to read them a second time?
That’s a question you could definitely ask if you were trying to be inquisitive but also rude.
Who did the art? That’s probably the only good part of the book.
Wes Molebash. He’s a genius and he did it in like 45 minutes. He’s that good.
What’s the price?
That’s kind of cheap isn’t it? What’s the matter? Is your prose that bad?
You’re very abrasive.
I just feel like $5 is a reasonable amount to ask someone to spend on something you worked really hard on. And plus, the price of yachts have come down a lot, so I don’t have to charge the $500 per book I was originally planning on. Because I mean, if you can’t write a book and buy a yacht, I really don’t see what the point is of writing a book, you know?
THINGS THE MASSES ARE SAYING ABOUT THE BOOK
“Knox’s ability to blend pop culture and deeper religious beliefs is extraordinary. You’ll certainly laugh, but more importantly, you’ll be forced to ask yourself hard questions. Ultimately, you’ll have a better understanding of your own faith after reading his words.”
-Sam Davidson, author of Simplify Your Life and 50 Things Your Life Doesn’t Need
“I watch The Bachelorette religiously. Every time the show concludes, I get this overwhelming sensation that the episode I’ve just witnessed has some serious spiritual implications for my life. Only problem is, I’ve never been able to decipher exactly what they are. Until now, that is. Thank you Knox. And thank you, Chris Harrison.”
-Tyler Stanton, author of Everyday Absurdities
“Knox’s writing is to The Bachelorette as crappy parents are to child pageants. “
-Tyler Tarver, author of Words and Sentences
“As a doomsday aficionado I love this book. Just reading the title you know the end is near.”
- Chad Gibbs author of God and Football
“Knox McCoy’s Jesus and the Bachelorette is a must-read for fathers with daughters of any age. It also makes a good coaster.”
“Knox McCoy is much like the legendary Russian author, Leo Tolstoy. Both wrote books and both of their names end in oy.”
“Knox McCoy’s writing is rich and compelling beyond compare. Never has someone so articulately expressed the need for spray tans and tight abs in our journey with the Lord.”
“Are you sure this is a good idea?”
-Ashley McCoy, Smoking Hot Wife of the author
“Knox is the secret love child of Tyler Stanton and Jon Acuff. He writes with Tyler’s wit and Jon’s gift of word structure and clarity. This guy will hit it big; it’s only a matter of time.”
“I’m pretty sure Jesus and the Bachelorette constitutes taking the Lord’s name in vain, but good luck with that, Knox.”
“I cannot stand watching The Bachelorette, but Knox makes me wish that I did.”
“I though Knox was life-changing when he saved my baby from a runaway train, but then he came out with Jesus and the Bachelorette and the world will never be the same.”
“If anyone was going to write another useless book about pop culture, I’d want it to be Knox McCoy.”
“If Knox McCoy were any more perfect, the universe would positively explode. I have done the calculations.”
“What the hell?”
-Don Hampton, Grandfather of the author